Oh, Despair... Poem by Phil Welker

Oh, Despair...



Oh, despair...
You've been gone far too short...
We're reunited as if by fate
You give me a firm, uncomfortable embrace
I would never even think to reciprocate.
What brings you back this time?
Loss? Heart-ache? Hate? Fear?
I suppose it doesn't matter
Because regardless the reason, you're still here.

Dark thoughts swirl in my brain
It's quite possible you'll drive me insane
Suicide you shout, I mustn't refrain!
One final solution to all this pain.

What's stopping me, you ask
'You know you want to'
'Nothing' I reply,
'And we both know I do'

What shall it be?
They all sound so great!
A razor to my wrist and I'll soon exsanguinate.
Find a big building, leap from the top,
If I blow out my brains someone better get a mop,
Buy a toy gun to commit suicide by cop,
These thoughts, these emotions,
Why won't they stop! ?
No, please,
I know it's not right,
But unless I do something there's no end in sight.

What am I waiting for?
I'm frozen with fear...
I can't choose to die.
But to go on living?
I don't know how...
Could somebody please tell me,
What the hell do I do now?

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