Oh God Why... Poem by Mohabeer Beeharry

As the sun makes its descent
Behind the bamboo grove,
A thin veil of darkness roams
Over the river and the village;
The temple bells ring for the last time.
Soon the doors will be closed,
And Lord, you will be all alone
Within the four scented walls,
All night,
Away from me,
Are you happy?
They say you are in my heart.
A small and cramped place, isn’t?
I wonder how do you fit your infinity in there?
Where the machinery clicks
Till the day it runs out of steam.
I myself am a stranger to my own heart,
For behind the teeming and unruly mass of useless garbage,
Not even I can see you.
Are you happy?
When my wife spread
Great mouth watering dishes on the table
And I forget to invite you,
And say a hurried sorry Lord later,
Are you happy?
Like all others
I am an expert at saying sorry,
A lip service, a flower of my hypocrisy.
Oh Lord, tell me why,
Why do you still remain in my heart,
That clammy, uncaring and selfish place?
And bleed for me,
and face heartless tortures and insults?
All for me?
You are omniscient, you know everything:
The greed, the hatred and the selfishness
And the useless violence.
In this darkness,
I wish I could fathom the depth of your love.
For the love of me,
You will go hungry.
You will pardon my hypocrisy,
And welcome torture and insults.
For me,
You will descend a thousand times from your heaven.
I have one small prayer, O Lord,
Give me just one tiny drop of your love
That I may bring peace where there is war
Love where there is hatred
And hope where there are despair and frustration.