Oh, How I Love Her Still Poem by Christen Kuikoua

Oh, how I love her still…
Oh God, how I love her,
how I love her still.

How painful it is to love you.
and yet,
I cannot unlove you.

Oh girl,
if only you knew
how much I love you.

How do I tell my eyes
to stop searching for you
every time you pass by?

How do I command them to close?
to look away,
to forget your face?

I can't.

It hurts,
I can't.

And still…
Oh, how I love you.

What kind of love is this
that grows in pain?

The more it breaks,
the stronger it becomes.

In tears,
It learns courage.

In silence,
It holds on tighter.

It feels like a prayer—
but one that already knows
The answer is "no."

A prayer that rises anyway,
even knowing
It will not be chosen.

Tell me,

How does one unlove love?

Is that not betrayal
to the very heart within you?

Is that not the impossible?

For I did not just fall for you
I fell into love itself.

And now,
how do I escape
What have I become?

I cannot unlove love.

Because I loved you.

Because I love you.

Because even now
when everything in me breaks,
when everything in me aches

still,
oh, how I love her so much…
Oh God, how I do love her still.