One Of A Kind Poem by ivor or ivor.e hogg

My D.N.A’s in disarray
Genetically I am quite mad,
I just found out the other day
I never had a proper dad.

They hatched me on a petri dish.
From bits of that and bits of this
and kept it warm to incubate
How I turned out was left to fate

I finished up a vertebrate
but I will never find a mate.
In all the world I am unique
I shall not live to be antique.

I’m six feet tall and three feet broad
and I blow bubbles when I’m bored.
From both my ears I swear it’s true
Now that is something you can’t do.

My greatest hero’s Frankenstein
who was the first to recombine
Assorted parts into a whole
that could compose a barcarole.

The promised me before I die
go to that great Lab in the sky
They’ll do their best to raise a clone
so I wont feel quite so alone.

There is one snag, their plan will fail
for any clone would be a male.
I won’t be happy I am not gay
a male won’t chase my blues away.

I think I’d rather be alone
when all is said and all is done
I have no wish to procreate
a family without a mate.

For single parents life is hard
a lot of work with small reward
I’ll concentrate on breeding fish
I WILL NOT wed a petri dish.