One Thing For Herself... Poem by Elizabeth Hunt

If She could do one thing for herself it would be the unthinkable...
Constant expectation and pressure... Always living in her own
shadow... Knowing so much... But still knowing soo little... The
darkness that is always invading her heart and soul... The dream of
happiness that she thrust upon herself... The reality of the brightest
light being dimmed and than one day fading due to life's cruelty and
anguish... The optimist's faith being destroyed by the same things
that intialy had given faith... Silent screams and cries that will
never be heard... But when noticed tis to late... Soo much too offer
to the world.. But yet the world offers nothing in return... Such a
devistation would blind the eyes of so many... But it would not be a
spontaneous blindness... They've been blind all along... They always
look but never see... The empty barrell makes the most noise... But
they couldn't hear the sound... Or maybe there is no blindness or
deaf... Could it be possible that they hear and see... Something so
gentle and precious spirling out of control... But invest way to much
in her to believe her demise possible... But this being... This
fragile being... Has a heart as large as the biggest and most
nurturing mother lion... And with this heart she loves... Whole
heartedly... But never looking for anything but the same feelings
returned... But who could possibly return such vast amounts of love...
Forced to live each day as if everything is well... But not forced my
anything or anyone... Forced by herself... Forced by the belief that
it's not ok for her not to be ok... Forced not to take a second for
herself because if she does that very second everything will spiral
out if control... Or maybe the fear that once these polluted feeling
enter her heart... They will never leave... A fear of being
compromised... A fear of being lost and never found... But how can one
have fear of being lost when they already are... Maybe she isn't a
stranger to herself but to the world... Maybe she waits for someone to
find her and save her from herself... She knows herself very well
indeed... But what no one else knows of is the constant struggle...
The endless struggle between the heart and mind... The mind says it's
unwise to care for the world the way she does... The struggle is that
the heart knows this... But how do you change your heart and the way
you feel... You don't... The heart tells the mind to except it and
move on but the mind cannot... The mind is always moving and never at
ease because when the mind believes what the heart tells... The mind
lends itself to believe things that people aren't capible of... The
heart desires but the mind... The mind expects... Then when these
expectations aren't met... Both the mind and heart are disheveled...
Then comes the time period to be overwheled with emotion and
rebuild... But you see for this gentle creature that period never
comes... The idea is to keep moving and never let anything catch up...
But what happens when the day comes... That these emotions these
feelings finally catch her... At first they invade her being and
destroy her hope and faith... Two of the three things she is built
upon... Next her soul becomes prisoner to the foreign invaders... At
that time the little things are diminished... The smile that could
light up the darkest room is stolen and no longer holds a place in the
world... Finally these harbored feelings and emotions make there way
to her core... To her heart... The strongest principle in which she
is built upon... Always loving... Is nomore... Now there is nothing
but haunted memories left from a time when at least for a time she was
happy or better yet content... This percious person never knew
happiness for herself... But she knew it for soo many others... When
there's nothing left for her... What does she do.............

If I could do one thing for myself it would be the unthinkable...