Openings Poem by Meredith Fahey

I promised myself so many things
I lied so well to myself
But immediately
Alone in your vicinity
All my thoughts broke down
Into primal urges
In a pattern of memory
Your hands, your lips
And I craved it like a junkie
Who hasn’t had a fix in nine months
I thought I was clean
You fall into me with harsh nips-
On my lips
And I crash into you,
Using my drunkenness as a shield
Against the guilt of tomorrow
That I don’t seem to feel
I don’t know if I can go through this again
Can we go one step further?
Can I take you into me
You fit so nicely before
When I chisel away the pain you
Left attached to me
You could fit again.
What am I fit for?
I am no better than a s-l-u-t.
Freely giving my kisses
To all
I have no more regard for love
Than the most cynical prostitute.
Men are all the same.
And the pain of this wall
Rips my knuckles as I fight in frustration
To be free of this rigid observation
And the empty hollow
Raging hormonal rhythms of my body.

(February 12,2005)