Pain Poem by Ryan Joseph Holder

Everyone seems mad at me
And nothing seems to help
I'm choking on the promises
That lie within themselves
The endless consequences
That seem to take their toll
Have buried me deep within the lie
And have taken my very soul
I can no longer feel
The essence of touch
And the distance I've traveled
Has taken so much
My very breath is killing me
And as I slowly start to die
My very heart has stopped itself
In order to survive
No matter what I do or say
Or how hard I try
I see myself in pain again
Just trying to stay alive
My fingers feel as cold as ice
My heart feels like a cave
My skin is callous, full of scars,
And I can't help but hate...
I hate the very essence
Of knowing I'm alive
Everything you thought of me
...It was all a lie
I'm not as strong as you all think
I'm not a soldier either
I'm tired of my own existence
....I just don't want to be here
But everyone's replaceable
And soon we'll be forgotten
Forever left to be alone
Inside our tombs and rotting
I'm dying from the inside
So turn me inside out
Fill me with the ecstasy
And then fill me with doubt
For everything we know
Is nothing but a lie
We are all made up of nothing more
Than hatred and despise
And as we live
Our nights away
As we breathe...
And as we pray...
We'll lose our minds
And soon grow cold....
And then we'll lose...
Our very souls....