Pain Poem by Jessica Anonymous

I dont want you to help me
I dont want to be saved
the longer i live
the longer the pain lasts...

my heart aches,
and i know how to stop it
the cuts and bruises
are nothing to be afraid of
I do it myself
it makes me happy on the inside
instead of the mask thats always in place

so please dont try to help me
i dont want to scare you away

but if you try to make me stop
and bring the heartache back
im scared i wont talk to you
even though
i think
deep down
i like you....
and that adds to the pain

knowing that you dont like me back
as more than just a friend....

the more that i see you
the more cuts i'll have
because everytime i see you
its something i'll never have

i want all the pain to stop
i want to just die
i dont want to kill myself
i dont want to make anybody sad

i want to keep living
so that i can keep hating you

i hate you so much
i hate how you talk to me as a friend
i hate how you look at me as a friend
i hate how you help me as a friend

but most of all
i hate how i dont hate you...
i hate how i love you
i hate how i care
i hate how you keep me alive




~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Just a note...I wrote this poem a while back about some guy, but I no longer like him....he did something unforgivable....I want to delet it since these feelings no longer exists but since people seem to like it I might keep it here........ i dont think anybody really cares about this but anyway