Pain Killer Poem by JenOfPoetry METAPHORICALLY SPEAKING

I need a new space of clarity because this one I am in is full of confusion.
The closer I get to another
The further they go.
So I fall back and let them move.
It's easier this way.
I won't feel the pain of a lost loved one.
I only have to worry about me.
So removing myself from the equation, less likely to experience the sad tears of losing a loved one.
What's the point in having family and friends when eventually they will leave some way or another.
People say they are down for you.
They believe they have your back.
But
How can they when I keep my back against the wall to avoid back-stabbers with their sly talk tapped to my back causing the giggles and remarks to fly pass my emotions leaving scars of the torture.
Whew!
So I refuse to play this game any longer.
Imperfections skipped no one
So why I should i suppress the resentment in my heart?
It's apart of me... Right?
Why should concern about another be on my mind when in the end it will burn me in the end leaving ashes of something good I tried to do.
I'll keep it for myself because the only one I should be taking care of is me.
Selfish it sounds I know but that is the only way to be.
Numbing my feelings ripping my heart out so I can't recall them ever again.
I'll sit in a zombie state...
And build a community of careless individuals.
Others don't mess with someone with blank intentions.
They won't know a heart that really cares and loves use to live inside.
This is the perfect pain killer

JenOfPoetry
10/20/14