Pains Door Poem by Karen Delaney

There they stood at the doorway to my pain.
I didn't want to see them there.
The little girl, eyes bright with tears.
Lips quivering with the unsaid words of childhood, wanting love.

The woman, full grown and looking tired.
Confusion and fear marring smooth brow,
as if to say, 'What went wrong, you used to be so strong? '
'I'm so sorry'.

The third, a majestic crone wrapped in an ancient cloak
of wisdom, love and grace.
Exuding an energy so great it robbed my breath to feel,
and dream of its' embrace.

'Go away! ' my thoughts screamed into the space.
'I hate you all! Useless, horrid, stupid creatures! '
'You cannot see me! How could you understand? '
'Where were you all when I needed you most? '

I feel my pain will kill me, but it's here I want to stay.
Ugly comfort, but familiar, like cold and acid rain.
'I care no more, am tired.'
Heart untouched and sick with loneliness I turn away, feeding my sorrow.

Resolute they stay, eyes cast down in company with my misery.
Three bodies unwavering in the wind and shadows of time.
Their breath in unison, steady and slow,
penetrates and rests on my cold and angry shoulders.

The warm and gentle comfort makes me fear to let it in,
lest it goes away again.
And the hurt I feel to turn and take those steps,
each one closer to that door.

I know I must, for never did I really want to be alone.
And deep within the empty confines of my heart, I know their help I need.
The closer I get the less I feel, and the less I feel the more I see these three.
And there I stood, and they, at the doorway to my pain, and realize.
They are me.

My body wraps into the warm arms that only I can trust.
Holding me tight, against the chest of my own strong heart.
And the breath of the crone settles over every crevice of my mind.
Saying 'welcome home my darling, ' 'Let's get you well! ' 'It's time.'