Saturday, July 11, 2015

Ph: Love: Miss Remembering Comments

Rating: 5.0

There are some of you I know
who think that I’ve forgotten,
my first kiss, or even my first kiss with you
(in love’s soft hopeful beckoning) .
...
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Brian Johnston
COMMENTS
Bri Edwards 16 August 2015

favorite lines: “to those who think me perhaps rotten, that our last kiss whispered someone new.” ……………..yes, BJ, our last kiss WAS telling! “to thirst no more and to forgive life’s flavors that were once too tart.” “and never once forget the rhymes when poems of mine were not cowards.” “such faith can even mountains move, ” …….. yeah, I get the Bible reference! I like the way you switched ‘move mountains’ for your purpose(s) . unfortunately I regret the rhyme ‘move/remove’; but you tried! and, considering the complex rhyme scheme you tackled [and done well with], you‘ve done well enough to merit a trip to MyPoemList …….even though it is a dreaded ‘love poem’. but something seems amiss in the last sentence: “God’s love for you, my Valentine, injustice where, to overthrow, or real sadness that I must remove? ” ………. I mean “injustice where, to overthrow”? ? ? doesn’t sound right to me. thanks for sharing. I don’t yet see the limerick about the pool player(s) . bri :)

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Brian Johnston 17 August 2015

Bri, check out PH: Limerick (Mildly Amusing) #8. Did you not read the poet's notes on this poem? The intent of the last lines is to express my admiration for a woman who solves her own problems and takes responsibility for her life, does not need rescuing by a man because she walks with God. I may be a support to her finding her own way, but I am not her solution.

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Brian Johnston

Brian Johnston

Oklahoma
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