Point Of No Return Poem by Nassy Fesharaki

Point of no return

I am a particle
-too tiny and small!
- Peter Higgs's! ! !
-in the air?
-water? What?

Whatever…too small and petite
-unseen and out of sight
-yet conscious, curious
-a seeker

Therefore I
-in hand of kite-runner
-am flown or fly
-as does kite

Want to know kite-runner
-"Is named God, "
-I am told

Want us meet
-befriend
-can?
-cannot?

Confused
-I am lost

I give up
-"You must not! "
-says inside

Everywhere
-everything
-and each dot
-is my God

I speak and reflect
-laugh at me
-crazy
-others too

Change my route
-I try
-but cannot

In Mashhad
-in flight
-comes a light
-milky white

Has remained deep inside
-"Was it God? "
-"Or Reza? "

In trance am drunk
-fallen down
-on my knees
-can't give up

Read books and articles
-printed and online
-do not find a reply
-exhausted want to talk
-feel ashamed
-am afraid and scared
-extreme is each side

Recall my trip to Lesotho
-left Iran in summer
-arrived there in winter
-everyone was Black
- (same is life)
-poor many except king
-and elite

Then Durban for fuel
-the fountains on the walls
- (in time of apartheid)
-to drink
-"For Black"
-"For the White"
-am brown and feel lost
-"I am none! "

Back I go into time,
-class in Laredo; for flight
-among us one Black
-I am his lone friend
-no one else!
-race, race, race

A man called Mandela
-was released from jail
-a sample, example
-man of peace and humble

Then things changed
-in Durban, Johannesburg
-no sign of "Black", "White"

Obama wants to be president
-a white man opposes:
-"He is a foreign born…a Muslim! "
-Trump who said so is president
-and he is elected
-read the rest,
-I feel in Lesotho, Apartheid and Cairo
-race, race, race! ! !

I am a particle
-and fly in cloud

I am a particle
-in motion with current

I am a particle
-in fruit and in sun

I am a particle
-in the waves of the light

I am a particle
-sitting firm in a rock

I am a particle
-in the nerve and blood
-of a sheep or a cow
-of grass or crow

I am a particle
-too small…tiny one
-but conscious
-seeker and curious
-am flown, or fly
-in a kite?
-or as kite?

Confused
-I am lost

Want to know
-what is cause?
-I am told
-"Is of God! "

I want us as friends
-can we be?
-or cannot?
-"Work on it! "
-says inside

I sit in front of the mirror
-and we talk; crazy must have gone
-in my den, hermitage and deprived
-"What, which right? "
-say jailers
- (see themselves as learned)
-am crushed, lose blood
-on papers I am dot
-prisoned autocrats
-used hands of bureaucrats
-fans fire theocrats
-I laugh loud, very loud
-shiver walls
-will the fool open palm let me out?

Hope is a point and too far out
-located in skies very high…
-has vanished, no return!