Press 1 For English Poem by George Hunter

Press 1 For English



Just why in hell do I have to ‘Press 1' for English?
Why?
Isn't this the land of Mom, Baseball,
And Apple Pie?
Let the aliens press 1 for UFO-speak
If that's the language that they seek.
Or if you're from Zyjackawackamun-du
Let your American lover speak English for you.
Newcomers to the U.S.A. should learn our lingo
And not continue speaking a foreign jingo.
So I don't wish to ‘Press 1' for English.
NO!
That nonsensical requirement will have to go.
I get so peeved.
Next time I hear ‘Press 1", I know what I'll do.
I'll just press my whole cell phone
Under my shoe!

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