Pretty Feet Poem by Bryan Corbett

most every woman
thinks she has pretty feet
most every woman
is delusional on the subject

trust me.

most every woman
spends a small fortune on pedicures
most every woman
should not waste the money

trust me.

most every woman
buys open-toed shoes, two sizes too small
most every woman
then proceed to cram their feet into them

trust me.

most every woman
simply does not realize that
it appears as though her fat, painted
sausages literally look as though they're trying
to escape from a burning building

trust me.

now that you know this, ladies
while you are laying there in the privacy
of your own bedroom
reach over to your nightstand
and turn on the light

go ahead, trust me.

pull back those covers
and take a good, long,
honest look at your feet

go ahead, trust me.

and when you
have finally come
to the realization
that I am absolutely right
please,
do us all a favor:
when you wake up
tomorrow morning
go to the local shopping center
pick up a twelve pack of comfortable pink socks
and a pair - or two - of white orthopedic shoes

You're welcome.

[This Has Been A Public Service Announcement]