Pretty Please Poem by Nellie Isabelle Steward Cooper

May I please be excused the rest of the day? Oh, can I... can I... can I.. Pretty please...with a sweet double cherry on top? ...

You most certainly may not be excused for the remainder of the day as we only address serious issues here and your wanting to be excused is not important, not something of immediate concern to us! ! !

May I pretty please agree with you at every turn and be a complete sycophant, a groveling person of sweet syrup that you enjoy and love so much!

You most certainly may do so, as I always consider you a bit of a genius - not withstanding many other considerations! ! !

May I pretty please disagree with you on a tiny itsy-bitsy matter, actually of little or no real consequence whatsoever, it being but a very small trifle?

You most certainly may not do so as you are a person of extreme intellectual lack, actually quite dull and dim if the truth
be known! ! !

May I be so, so very impressed by you...thus evaluating you as such.....a grand and noble being that you should always and forever be exalted and lauded by all that come into your majestic presence! .....

You most certainly may do so... as you are what one, more than one or a vast multitude would consider a person of great integrity and strength with boundless evaluation and imagination....

May I pretty please jump with joy, skip round n round and do a double back flip and then truthfully say someone like you may alas never be found.... (unless one should be so very-very fortunate indeed to somehow behold such a person) ....

You most certainly may not do so you ridiculous knave you boorish dolt you silly person of extremely low or not at all talent or ability.... such an insignificant person, why do I bother with you! ! ! ....

May I pretty please extol your virtues and qualities ad infinitum as you have no vices nor shortcomings whatsoever...shall we just say you are perfect in every way and we leave
it at that? ? ? ...! ! ! ...