kevin bigham

Rainy Days - Poem by kevin bigham

On this rain soaked day, as we waited at the train station for a final time

hands clasped, fingers intertwined, , , as if hearts and minds

and yet tis the look in your eyes that still haunts my nightmares

the mist of heartache slowly forming into tiny droplets at the corner of a sunrise

a sunny disposition suddenly turned gray, i introduced her to rainy days

and yet still i preceded to walk away, silently, without a word

without looking back, i made a decision of which there is no return

being self cataloged as somewhat of a modern day Judas

naturally i fled from the specter of my own guilt

rationalizing that i never received thirty pieces of silver

now as i recollect on the throes of what the heart is missing

i'm not sure what's worth saying or not

i mean love has to hurt, otherwise how do you know if you can still feel pain

sometimes the heart has to ache, otherwise what have you gained

if all you ever know is sunshine, then what about the rain

all i know is that i'm sure i was never the person you imagined of me

and i shied away from the responsibility of the uncomfortable glare

unrealized expectations for the world to not just look at, , , but stare

as i was placed on a pedestal for what a man should be

mistakenly thinking that the perfect dream always imagined was me

you laid bare my insecurities, , , stripped naked for the world to see

always hoping that someone gentle and caring might eventually come along

wishing on that same song, you find yourself once again in the wrong

and little by little your hopes began to fade from anticipation, , , to so long

until you no longer even care what they once were

your only desire is for someone to share, what fleeting hopes remain there

you imagined a life of her's and his, sultry kisses and silly grins

failing to ascertain that true love can only be found,

by those who already know where it is

you've seen who i am, there might be little bits of humanity left

and yet are they enough for a woman who truly looks

my love is not your choice when it is delivered in the form of a gift

can you remember when we made sweet love that made you sigh

because you've never cried, have you ever bothered to question the reasons why

how did you feel when you forfeited your heart while in my arms you died

by now you must realize that in retrospect, your dreams always found me suspect

and you ultimately knew that true love was but a wager

you hoped beyond reason, sensuous letters of affection

instead you received correspondence from a stranger

and even when you glimpsed a faint limp in my hitch,

the lonely heart convinced you it was a mere whisper of a reminisce

you sought both love and pain and i fulfilled your wish

the train to nowhere is boarding now, time to get this over with

''Baby please don't leave me alone in this world she cries''

don't beg me woman i reply, i'm gone, , , on to the next great lie

and with that i walked into forever, on this rainy day, , , for the final time...KB

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Poem Submitted: Thursday, August 30, 2012

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