Raja’ And Shadia Alem And My Nostalgia For The Past Young Age Poem by nadia abduljabbar

Not Even a phone call,
Was our true friendship
Nothing to both of you? ! ! !
If you could erase me from
Your minds, I still can’t do so.

I asked my friend to take
Your email from you and
She did so in Germany,
But lost it on the way home,
As if destiny wants me
To live without you,
And it hurts me to be
Without you. You know I don’t
Love people easily, but
When I do I can’t forget
Easily as well.

I know you left the country,
Because you both were very
Tired from big responsibilities,
Of the sick elderly people
Around you, I can give you
Excuse for leaving all of a sudden
Without giving a clue.
You were under great pressure;
Especially
There were no mobiles then.

The last time I saw you,
Was after mother has left,
You came to console me,
Though I don’t believe much
In such a tradition, but I was
Happy to see both of you,
Then I was busy with the pain
Of loss, you know she was a friend too.

I still remember our first
Encounter In Dr. Fatma’s
Apartment In Makkah;
Oh, Makkah and WOMEN
From Makkah, when they
Excel, no one can compete
with them. Under the pressure
Of customs and tradition,
They just explode like rocket
Or So. She decided to introduce
Both of you to me, when I was so sad
And alone.

My closest friend then changed
To something close to “Elekhwans’ attitude;
She thought that by putting: “Black Abaia”
On head and covering heavily the face,
Wearing black gloves and socks, she as such
Became a perfect Muslim. Even though she cheated,
Lied and gossiped.
She ordered me to clean the outside before
The inside and I refused, hence,
I was banished from the cattle.

Fatmah saw my melancholy,
So she told me that she will introduce
Me to people who are like me
In spirit as well as mind,
And that I will never regret it,
I trusted Fatmah so much;
She was like a godmother
Or what we call spiritual mother.

And we met, as if we knew each
Other since centuries, we laughed,
We talked, we joked, we criticized
Society and prayed together.

Days later you decided to complete BA
Studies, I was already a T.A, so we
Used to discuss Dickens for
Hours on the phone.

One sentence from you Raja’ healed
Me from the pain of the first divorce,
“I feel like going back to him”, said I-
While tears were in my voice from
Being torn between contradictory
Feelings- To You.
You replied then: “ Well, Even caged birds
Fall before they fly when we open door
For them”, YOU made me feel like a bird
That is again about, from hell, to fly.

From Madinah, I was transferred to Jeddah,
After he forced me to leave Makkah and
Mother; the worst days in my life.

And from Makkah, You came to Jeddah,
We lived somehow close as in Makkah,
Once you came all of a sudden to swim
In my swimming pool, I was happy, because
It was kidney shape with buddy chair in it,
Something I insist and delayed things until
I could fulfill it, I still remember the day:
It was the fourth of April, but I forget the year,
May be because I rarely swim in April,
Or before my birthday,
You wore shorts under the swimming suits
And I asked why is that? You replied
We’re just trying to be more polite
With God, for my westernized mind then,
That was a bit too much, now I am trying
To do so.
I still feel happy when I'm stubborn
About things until I fulfill them.
So we really don't change much.

I used to visit you at least once a month,
For your house was close to the university,
I rang The bell of your front door saying
My usual words: “ Hay, Gypsies
I am home: OPEN THE DOOR”,
And I enter from the kitchen door,
Kissing your mother and the maid,
And climbing the stairs to your bed-
Room, passing by Shadia’s atelier,
Commenting on the beautiful
Coloured paintings. Then I stop before
Raja’s piles of books: plays then NOVELS,
Then we used to discuss England, Painting,
Literature, Ballet, our Society and our love
For Makkah and God.

I heard you got a prize from Spain
For Your Novels and I cried out of
happiness for I still remember your beginning,
After that I reached to No.1 position
With Noble House publishing Company,
You used to love my poetry,
But you were not close to feel
Happy for me.

That was our friendship from beginning
To end. Beside, of course, your attending
my very simple- home- two weddings.
You decorated with me the first wedding
Dress in Makkah.
I still remember your silly romantic
Comment on my first marriage.
As Silly as myself thinking that marrying
An old professor is great since there
Is intellectuality.

And I set now, Raja’, and remember your
Comments on that card: “ LOVE him Nadia”;
And as you knew later Raja’,
I gave love, care etc…and got
Nothing except destruction’

I think I still have your card Raja’
In my closet.
I laugh every time I see it.
I used to joke with both of you saying:
The divorces happened only
Because, you attended my weddings.
But it was only fate,
So please do not make it
Worse by staying away;
I don’t mean we meet like
The past once a month
I know you live now in France,
But at least once a year,
It will mean a lot to me
When you come in Ramadan,
You know: I don’t beg for “LOVE”,
But this you not someone else,
Come and knock my door,
And if you lost the way to my home,
Just give me a call,
My number is in face book,
And I will come and say
Like the old good days:
“HAY GIPSY: I AM HOME,
PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR,
Like the spirit of Katharine in
Wuthering Heights, I will repeat,
PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR”,
PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR”,
PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR”.

Jeddah,
8 March 2014