Random Feelings Poem by Kelly Rivas Chacon

Late night conversations with the demons I name after my emotions keep me up at night like a teenager on the brink of love and suicide. We talk about one night running away and one day waking up in the middle of the best of no wheres.
But the best of no wheres is no where to be found. My only option is to run away, but this darkness this sadness is in me in the depths of my mind where my demons are. Where the torture never ends where the suffering lives on
I try to cover up these scars with smiles built on lies. I've become immune to love and yet what people waste and take for granted I hunt and scavenge for it as if searching for water in the depths of some desert. But my throat becomes dry, and my lips become numb. My skin becomes cold and my flesh turns to white
Seems as if all has disappeared. But what is there really? Just a million souls wandering silenced by fears.
Filled with empty stares empty promises empty eternities Held down Suffocating under past mistakes.
The kind so loud that kills. The kind of silence that brings you to insanity. As if the silence wasn't ever enough, now you're struggling to get away from the voices in your head. We've been told to keep our head up as we were flipped upside down. They keep telling us to breath, as they rip our lungs apart. They told me I could fly, just when they'd clipped my wings off. Now I try to tell myself maybe it's time for a goodbye, just as I try to remember the time I looked up to the sky and smelled the earth beneath my feet as I spread the wings...I never had.
As of today I could have spoken more words I could have felt a little more, but silence doesn't just harm the human being it destroys it.
My light has been taken away and I'm at a constant battle with my demons
It's become a dance in which we both passionately pull at each other and dramatically fall into each other. I'm constantly trying to lead, but I don't think I ever had enough lessons. I've come to admire this dress made of pain and this mask made from fear.