Recipe For War Poem by Devon McElveen

Recipe For War

1 Kilogram of Corruption
1.2 grams of Hatred
3 grams of Government
231 milligrams of Nationalism
7 liters of Bloodshed
27 deciliters of Misguidance
A block of Immoral Values
1 False Cause
A Heart (frozen)
Extra Taxes (optional)

1. Preheat oven to 500 degrees F.
2. Place the Government and Corruption into a shaded bowl (do not mix) .
3. Pour in the Misguidance slowly and steadily. Make sure the Government falls to the bottom and the Corruption floats to the top.
4. Dump the Nationalism into the bowl quickly. It is now safe to mix the contents.
5. Within 20 seconds of mixing, pour in the Bloodshed. There should be a loud hiss sound. Refrigerate mixture.
6. Chop up the Immoral Values into small pieces. Add some to the mixture every few seconds for best results. Keep mixture refrigerated.
7. Once the Immoral Values are all in the mixture, remove from the refrigerator and add the frozen Heart and Hatred (at the same time) .
8. Pour the mixture into a large pan and place the False Cause on the top (will melt while cooking) .
9. Place the pan in the oven for exactly 3 days. No more, no less.
10. When the 3 days end, remove the pan from the oven and sprinkle the Extra Taxes on it. Enjoy your new war.
We are not responsible for any deaths that occur during your war.
If you need to point a finger, point it at your president.

(April 2010)

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