Repeat Poem by Lindsay King

excitement has been erased from all we once knew
like a song that's been on repeat for hours
i feel the insignificance that i am

i feel the same cycle repeat
on repeat
i need
to feel normal again

why do i always want what i can't have
i'd want a goddamned chair
if it was what i was deprived

i'm lost from the fantasy
i want to know what is reality
with you
with me

do you smile when my name is mentioned?
or do you believe you can upgrade
all too soon
from me?

it's cold inside
during the middle of summer
i touch my face, i touch my side
am i real
am i real?

will you talk to me
or be glad that your arm
has someone leeching to it?

does the good side
really exist
or did i fabricate it
much like i seem to do
these days?

you can be a doll
when you want
i can be stable
when the circumstances are willing

when i'm defined
we can party
like there's no tomorrow

i don't need
the self-destruction
for now
i can see my future
going in two directions
do i want to be
lost
or can i be
found?