Replacement Lover Poem by Charles Hancock

Things are getting a little dull
So I'll crank up my MP3 player
Led Zeppelin, Kiss, Jethro Tull
Metallica, Van Halen, and Slayer

Think I'll try a dot com
And find a replacement lover
From the Philippians or Vietnam
Just someone to share my cover

Perhaps a Croat or Russian gal
I can't decide on my mail order bride
Maybe look south of the Panama Canal
I will continue to search worldwide

I'll get the best that 10 thousand will buy
And I'll go through an agency this time
Since the chick from Thailand was a guy
He led me on; that worthless slime

My American girl kicked me to the curb
I'll teach her when I get my beauty
My next woman will be superb
She'll cook, clean, and give up the bootie

I need to save for my overseas spouse
But finding a job is such a hassle
And a soon as I get out of Mom's house
I'll be the king of my castle