Restless Poem by Saroj Padhi

What restlessness is this?
Time and again trying not to think of you
pressing the call button and foiling,
deleting your number,
and then retrieving it
not to call again;
trying not to smile
and again smiling to self in secrecy
recollecting the dying words
that dropped from the draped petals
of your dry lips
when the wind played
a baffling symphony
to tune my disarrayed thoughts.
Is it love imagined
or sheer pull of lust?
Is it a fake feeling
or true trust?
Why this restlessness
in your absence?