Review Of My Poem The Rivulet 16 Poem by Smrui Ranjan Mohanty

Thanks and gratitude to Poetry Review, eminent poet and literary critic ma'am Sheri M Stewart for her critical appreciation of my poem 'The Rivulet'. I am truly honoured.

Sheri M. Stewart's Review of "The Rivulet" by Smruti Ranjan Mohanty
Smruti Ranjan Mohanty presents a common tale but with a unique perspective in "The Rivulet". This piece needs more than one reading to take in the full picture presented and capture all the subtle nuances throughout.
The first five lines in the first stanza capture beautifully what being and becoming a parent can and should be. However there is a catch. Although I missed it in my first reading the catch appears in Line 6 of the first stanza and is explained in the 7th. I think it is first missed because many new mothers get a bit lost in their new roles. Being a mother is a happy and joyous thing.
The second stanza caught me by suprise. We move from what should be a picture of a complete and happy family to a man feeling alone and incomplete. What has happened? In line one of the second stanza we see the mother is feeling complete. The end of the second line reveals the snag. The mother is completely focused on the children and is no longer there for the original union and bond.
The contrast between the two stanzas is amazing. The first is full of love, joy, hope and expectation. You can feel the love radiating from the lines and blossoming. The second is a mourning song for a lost love. The love he holds is still there yet his beloved has trickled away and he painfully alone.

THE RIVULET-16

To build a bridge
in between you and me,
They came,
flowers of our love and passion
to make us full.
You never remained yourself,
completely lost in your creations
searching for that endless happiness, in the beauty of fathomless motherhood, ecstasy and joy

In your completeness
my incomplete love was searching for its identity and existence
I was looking at the lover in me
dying breathless
under the heavy weight of fatherhood
and my love and beloved I lost long since.
In the wilting petals of jasmine
and fading light of the dying moon
I was desperately searching for my love
languishing in an empty space.

Smruti Ranjan Mohanty