Randy Johnson

Road Rage - Poem by Randy Johnson

I've encountered road rage over eighty times.
My driving is so horrible that it's a crime.
I totaled a car after driving it when it snowed.
I'm such a lousy driver that I drive on the left side of the road.

When I drive at night, my chances of wrecking are increased.
I once hit a car that belonged to a priest.
I thought the priest would be forgiving and I thought I was home free.
But he pulled me out of my car and beat the crap out of me.

I practically invented road rage and I encounter it again and again.
This gray wig I've started wearing makes people less likely to hit me because they think I'm a senior citizen.
I've been cussed out, beat up, and once I was even shot.
If you drive like me, get off the road because you don't want what I got.

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Comments about Road Rage by Randy Johnson

  • (8/8/2006 9:13:00 AM)

    no I am sure they don't Randy, cus you have a death wish. Driving can be a real adrenalin rush for sure, if executed with skill, but as you say, Road Ragers more often maim and kill. Good poem on what not to do when driving in your car! lol Well done for staying alive at least, and being amusing too. Smiling at you, a bit of a girl racer myself, Tai (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Tuesday, August 8, 2006

Poem Edited: Tuesday, August 24, 2010

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