Routes To Escape Are All Blocked Poem by Margaret Alice

Fear, unreasonable, irrational, dreading another
day, not knowing which way to turn, facing the
unwillingness within me to continue to breathe,
the body is willing, but the spirit is weak, too tired
to run away, if eternity is anything like life on earth,
the onyx alternative is eternal death with its marvelous
rest and unconsciousness; happy lack of awareness

Looking through my books with positive thoughts,
reading this is a benevolent universe – if so, there
is a snake living in my head, I have fallen into the
Black Hole in my mind and the routes to escape
are all blocked, I want to walk to the library, escape
the voices, the noises, aggressive typing all day, the
worst nightmare has befallen me: Quarterly report

My rebellion and disgust so strong, it makes me
nauseous, I HATE writing those, cannot overcome
Mr Hyde rising in me, I’ve lost Dr Jekyll completely,
now primitive and angry, in revolt, can’t find the sacred
space in my mind, got to calm down, fleeing the chaos
threatening to overwhelm me, it is just temporary, not
having an office means life is an artificial pose

A constant masquerade, no place to be natural, observed
at all times, no space to cry, feelings in me I cannot own
publicly, fulfilling duty, doing ONLY what is required, no
space for me, life a quagmire of practiced actions and I
need to cry, needing privacy to hide away, the only refuge
my fantasy, that faculty deserted me today...