Salvation Poem by Logan McDougall

For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son!
That who ever believes In His name will have eternal life! Controvercies run and pump like the very blood through my veins
What is this claim?
what is this Book that tells ME of all people, how to live MY life?
Anger thrashes and trashes, blows and throws, humiliates and Complicates matters farther and farther than I could ever imagine. Tension I can't explain who is this man who is telling me to be different. Why can't I just do what i want!
And do it all the time for myself!
Why do I have to believe in someone else!
Someone to save me from my life, a life that I like that is my own! Something I love. He says He loves me well why don't I see Him? I can't love something I can't see.
Oh I have given up I curse the name that is God!
His very name spikes my blood pressure!

I Love my life and I Love the things I do that He calls sin I cling to them! They give me a sense of purpose!
They really do I promise you!
It is so much fun right, I mean it is fun for me!
A purpose that makes sense to me.
I just do what I want and it makes me happy!
I don't have to listen to what others tell me right?
This life is mine why change it to follow what others tell me?
My drugs, my liquor, my pills, my sex, I love these things!
They are the only thing that can bring me happiness anymore.
People have failed me these things are perfect!
Why else would they be here?
A steady form of happiness right?
But sometimes I don't have the money for my happiness.
Oh i must find money steal it yes I will steal to find my happiness.
Oh yes i have so much and so much 'sin' equals so much happiness.
I laugh at those who are so naive!
Those who think they can find the purpose to life from something,
Ha something invisible! they must have good imaginations or be crazy.

I will never grow tired of these things
The same things over and over gets better and better every time right?
The feeling i live for will never grow old right?
But wait could there be something more to this life?
NO no, not possible.
when i look around at the stars and the sun.
Wait no I dont i dont even know why this stuff is here or what It has to do with me, yes because this life is all about me, this life is about me!
Well then why are there other people here?
How can life be all about me, and be all about others...
This troubles me, but what ever I still have my 'sin.'
My drugs, my liquor, my pills, my sex, I love these things!
But these things can't last forever I am only drunk for so long.
I am only hi for so long.
sex can only last for so long, so who cares I still love these things.
But what happends when they are over when I stop tripping, when i am able to control my self? When my source of happiness runs out?
Is there a never ending source of happiness that is greater than these things? And if so there is no way that it could be invisible.
Uh the other night sucked I was cought by the cops for weed obviously other people dont like what brings me happiness. In this cell i cant have happiness. My girlfriend broke up with me because I was having sex withother people, I passed out I was throwing up all over woke up drunk and felt sick all day. Why oh why are the things that I love bringing pain to my life, Why oh why? The purpose of life cannot be this waivering, why can't people just join me and find happiness too. If i keep living this way will it always end up here?
Will i never be able to break free to something new something that breaths life, purpose and happiness? No i love this i will never let up. But I can't escape the fact that my life hurts me everytime i have been broken or hurt somehow. And if i don't see it my conscience does. No i can't see a conscience it can't be real. But wait i feel it. Could this be how God is too? No not possible.

Why do i feel something deep within me something i Can't explain that shouts of a higher power a deeper purpose? Maybe when I get older I will understand maybe later. But wait my pain the things i love i could see how it could lead me to death. I have to think i might not have time to understand this power I will search and search until I find this.
Maybe the whole time it was invisible a sense of perfection a glimpse of salvation. I dont know will some one help me some one reach out? Wait I remember now that one person reached out. My friend who was a Christian said you are Loved and loved unconditionally, It might hurt to leave the life you know and love, but you will not regret it, you will never want the pain you once loved, step out break free of the chains I love you, and imagine how much more God loves you, and He wants to be with you in perfection where there is no pain, there is no struggle. HE is the answer, a message of hope, a message of life, and most of all a message of unconditional never ending Love, and Love eternal, reach out touch Him, Taste and see, take a step, He will not let you down. For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son that who ever believes in Him will not perish, not be broken by themselves and there sin, by the things they once loved, but they will be changed on this earth, and will not conform to this world, but they will have eternal life through the Blood of Jesus Christ, this is the only way, this is the purpose, to life, and happiness! ! Love God and Love others, because He first loved us.