Saturday At Midnight (When Demons Come Out) Poem by Suki Miku

It's so overwhelming to think
about all I've given up for you.
Never for a split second
have I told you of how many
sleepless nights, failed tests,
and pills I've swallowed one by one
because all I tried to focus on was
you.
All of you.

You've drained me of my sanity,
energy, self love,
to the point where I just
lie on the floor for hours
watching my life slip away.
Sometimes you've even pushed me
to holding a knife to my throat
for fun
and yet some of you dare to claim
that I never even tried.

Sometimes I daydream about
what would happen if I simply
disappeared
and how all of you would react.
When I have left some in the past
their reactions proved selfish and immature
and yet people still expect me
to believe I should stay because I'm
'needed.'

I have only ever left out of desperation
and I've always made that clear.

And it disgusts me how even
my closest friends can be such
closed-minded hypocrites.
They claim that everyone should be respected
and then taunt those who differ from them.
Maybe I'm from another world.
No one seems to understand what I say.

Darling, what would you do
if I offed myself today?