Scots Poems From Young Quine Dreamin Poem by Sheena Blackhall

A Gype
A gype fa thocht he wis Neptune
Wi a harpoon spear in his haun
Catched a muckle fish wi an ugsome mug
An ferried it back tae lan

A strang fishmonger carried them
An the fowk turned oot in the streets
Tae cheer thon fey o feyest
The Neptune in welly buits


Faiver ye are
Are ye a waitress in MacDonalds
Jurmummlin aa yer orders?

Are ye a loch in the Trossachs
Hatin the fly tipper
That cowped thon shoppin trolley
Intae yer waves?

Are ye a babby
Lyin in yer ain keech
Hopin yer ma will cheenge ye
Sometime sune?

Faiver ye are
I wish ye peace
I wish a blythe future


Flooers
Twa flooers I lue
The symbols o twa kintras

The flooer caad Kalanit in Hebrew
Taen frae the wee wird Kala, that means "bride"
Because the anemone's sae bonnie
She luiks like a bride on her waddin day,
This dochter o the win.

The tither flooer I lue's the Scottish thrissle
Nemo me impune lacessit
Ye'll see it aawye
On flags, on coins, on logos…
I lue it best heich on ma kintra's bens
Strang, stappt wi smeddum, thrawn
A warrior's choyce

Doric Meevement
Duntin, chappin, flechin, fleein
Birlin, fechtin, sweemin, faain
Bladdin, mummlin, chawin, pyochrin
Brakkin, skytin, clypin, keechin

Claikin, sklaikin, skirlin, skreichin
Hoastin, cowkin, cowpin, lowpin
Priggin, howkin, malagaroozin
Ficherin, footerin, greetin, maenin

Peengin, daunderin, stravaigin
Slidderin, skelpin, cloorin, dowpin
Fleggin, dichtin, keekin, lippenin
Boozin, smoorichan an deein


Unca Assassinations
Quintus Antyllius, a personal bodyguaird, pushed throwe the fowk
Sayin "Makk wey, ye orrals, fur guid Romans."
This pruved tae be a mistakk.
The "orrals" used their styluses, stobbit him tae daith.

Agrippina deed as her son Nero watched
(She'd killed her husband and uncle Claudius
Wi pysoned mushrooms)
Nero holed her boat bit she swam ashore
Far a hired killer dirkit her in the wyme

King Edmund Ironside
Wis shot bi a crossbow
Dowpit on the lavvie

Jörg Jenatsch wis killt bi an aixe- haudin Bear
At Carnival time fin aabody wore masks
A cheil cam up tae him weirin a full bear costume.
Jenatsch invited the bear tae jyne him in the pliskies.
Fin he shook the bear's paw the bear shot him

The CIA ettled tae kill Fidel Castro
They ettled tae gie him explodin cigars
They ettled tae pyson his divin suit
They ettled tae plant a bomb in a conch
On the sea bed far he dived. Naethin wirked
He deed in 2016 at the age o ninety

Georgi Markov wis jobbit bi a pysoned umbrella
Crossin ower Waterloo Brig
Fower days eftir he deed o ricin pyson

Alexander Litvinenko,43, deed three weeks
Efter drinkin tea laced
Wi the radioactive substance polonium-210.

The boddom line wis,
(apairt frae Castro's connached murder ettles)
The objecks o assassination wir killt


Ronnie Watt
Hae ye heard o Ronnie Watt?
He's a maist byordnar Scot
He's a champion. A 9th Dan
In Karate, he's the man!

Order o the Risin Sun
Is anither honour, won
Like the famous Thomas Glover
O things Japanese, a lover

Oor local samurai, he's licht
On his feet in ony fecht
Hae ye heard o Ronnie Watt?
He's a maist byordnar Scot!


The Fusperer
Fa is thon fusperin in the win?
Fit dae they wint tae say?
Fin the muir is derk an the nicht is weet
An the banshees oorie, stray

Far is the fusperer's hideyhole?
Foo dis he spikk tae me?
It's nae a branch chaps at the yett
Oor gairden has nae tree

Fa is thon fusperin in the win
Is't a ghaist fa's tint his hame?
Foo dis he mummle in ma lug?
Foo is he aa alane?


The Kist
Ma mither teemed a kist ae day
Photies drappit like rain
Aa o them kinsmen, sib tae me
Fowk that I didnae ken

I speired the back stories o aa
She haived them inno the flames
‘jist auld dirt, they're aa awa
Nae need tae say their nemmes'

I'll niver kan fa the fermer wis
Wi his piece an his mug o tin
Or the quine wi the hen's pail in her haun
Stravaigin ben yalla whin

An fa wis the barfit bairn on a dyke?
An fa wis the cheil wi fuskers?
An fa ained the cat wi nerra een?
An fa ained the Ceylon tuskers?

It's coorse tae rob the past o its dues
The deid cry oot fur kennin
‘Jist auld dirt'…ma past, ma kin
That the hungry lowe wis birsslin

Scam
Diddle diddle diddled
Here's a con
Tae takk yer siller
Wi his fly heid on

Diddle diddle diddled
It's a scam
Thank afore ye sign up
Wolfie sees a lamb


The Carousel
Time is a carousel birlin roon
Ma first myndin is a breeze
Wauchtin the cat net in ma pram
Wi the scent o young birk trees

Ma secunt myndin's a peaty puil
That grips ma shanks like a vice
A heilan burn wi topaze een
A burn wi a hairt o ice

Ma third myndin is ill tae thole
A schule perjink an nippit
Bools in its moo tae trip yer tongue
An wyes far I aften slippit

The years hae passed in a cloud o stoor
Merriege an birth an daith
The carousel is slawin doon
An shilpit an wersh, ma braith


The Fey Pair
He cheers on Glesga Rangers
She lippens tae classic FM
He rifts ower his mince an tatties
She's supped wi an ex PM

He dreams o nichts in Ibitha
She veesits gites in France
He reads saft porn an thrillers
She likes a fine romaunce
He hurls in a souped up motor
She yachts alang Loch Skene
He likes tae spikk on Twitter
Gie her the poetry scene
He's braid an heich an sonsie
She's wee an beetle brooed
He's lood an roch in public
She's spectacled an prood

An fit's the glue that binds them?
Dae opposites attrack?
They sizzle fin thegither
A pair an thon's a fack

Sae fit's the magic hauds them?
The thing that ithers lack?
Thon hidden sexual frisson
That smuchters in the sack


The Weltanschauung o a Baked Tattie
(a particular philosophy or view of life; the world view of an individual or group)

We ken oor wirth. We're like gowd tae a hungert Scot
In England they caa us jaiket tatties

We can be stappit wi butter, cheese, soor cream,
Gravy, baked beans, puued pork or corned beef.

Connoisseurs say King Edwards bake the best.
We're healthy chiels, ye ken. Aabody sez it
We're bobbydazzlers! Wee stoaters!
Grill us, microwave us, stap us in ovens or grills
Cook us in air fryers
Plunk us in tae an open lowe
We rise like Phoenix frae the aisse
Humdingers!
We're mooth watterin, tasty, byordnar braw

We like tae be scrubbed, washed, dried
An dichtit wi ile, afore we're cheenged
Intae the meal that aabody lues
Some fowk stap us wi curried or coronation chucken
Chilli con carnie, tuna, prawn, or haggis

In Stockholm, they caa us Hasselback tatties
Sliced an scalloped wi cheese
In Sweden they ett us wi shrimp, dill, tomatae an lettuce

In the19th century, we were selt on the streets
Bi hawkers in Autumn an Winter.
In Lunnon,10 tons o us were selt ilkie day
We were aften etten on Guy Fawkes Nicht,
Baked in the bonfire
We've a lang pedigree, ye ken

In France we're caad 'pomme de terre au four'
In Armenian villages we're cooked on dry coos' sharn
Turkish fowk caa us a kumpir
In Brazil, we're kent as batata Inglesa

Sink yer teeth intae us
Ye winna be disappyntit!

Dream o the Restless Bairnickie
I dreamt I jyned the Seelie Coort
An rade upon a futterat's back
It could baith flee an sweem the tide
An breenge ben mony's a happit track

I slept aneth a puddock's steel
I sprouted wings, sae moosewab licht
I climmed the steepest watter linn
Haudin a salmon's tailie, ticht

I steppit inno warlocks' haas
An watched them steer their potions roon
I wyved ma eildtrich wan, an syne
I gart ten siller stars drap doon

I kept a tiger in ma pooch
I liked tae hear it yawn an purr
An fin a bogieman lowped oot
It chased him wi a muckle gurr

I fand a gowden clarsach braw
It played me mony's the canty tune
An it could daunce baith but and ben
Frae midnicht's quaet tae noisy noon

An fin it rained, abune ma heid
I held alaft a gowan flooer
An fin it snaaed a robin tuik
An warmed me in its feathery booer

I hurled on beeswings throw the mist
Tae crannies mortals dinna ken
Tae play wi feys an fire-flauchts *lightning bolts
The blithest bairnie in the glen!


Jisei (Japanese Death Poems/Zen Death Haiku) : Doric owersetts of English translations by Michael R. Burch

Girses dwine:
the brakin train
skreichs tae a stop.
―Yamaguchi Seishi

Fareweel! I pass
as aa ferlies dae:
dyew dryin on girse.
—Banzan (-1730


This day, seein the dyeuks
skirlin ower Loch Iware:
Maun I vanish as weel intae the clouds?
—Prince Otsu (663-686) ,

Lat me dee in spring
aneth the gean blossoms
fin the meen is full.
—Saigyo (1118-1190

I cam intae the warld teem-haundit
an leave it barfit.
Ma camin an gaun?
Twa straicht forrit events
that becam taiglit.
—Kozan Ichikyo (1283-1360) ,

Aa five aspecks o ma fleetin human makk
An the fower elements o life add up tae naethin:
I bare m aneck tae the unsheathed sword
An its clour is jist a braith o win...
—Suketomo (1290-1332) ,

Dweeble autumn leaves
crummle tae stoor
in the wersh cauld win.
—Takao (? -1660

The wheesht soun
o the tattiebogle drappin
saftly tae the grun
―Nozawa Bonchō (1640-1714) ,

Fin nae win at aa
shoogles the Kiri tree
leaves faa o their ain will.
―Nozawa Bonchō (1640-1714) ,

Will we bide pairtit foraye?
Here at yer grave-mools:
twa flooerlike butterflees!
—Matsuo Basho (1644-1694) ,

Curious flooer,
watchin oor oncam:
meet Daith oor hungeret cuddy
―Matsuo Basho (1644-1694


This windy nest?
Open yer hungeret mou in vain,
Issa, orphaned spurgie
―Kobayashi Issa (1763-1827) ,

Dinna greet, we're aa gollachs!
Luvers, even the starnies thirsels
maun pairt in the eyn
―Kobayashi Issa (1763-1827) ,

Sic derkness!
Inbye the walnuts crackit shell:
Ae teem chaumer
―Takaha Shugyo

Seelence:
a single chestnut leaf
sinks throwe the clear watter...
―Shohaku

Nae lift
nae lan:
jist sna aywis faain...
―Kajiwara Hashin


Young Quine Dreamin
Young quine dreamin
The future's wytin
Life's tae live an the warld's excitin

Young quine dreamin
Fit'll ye be?
Artist or Scientist? On TV?

Young quine dreamin
May fate be kind
May ye ay be blessed wi peace o mind