Seagulls Poem by Foil Hattiest

A feathered plague's upon my boat
A screeching flapping noisy pest
They drape it in a sticky coat
From bow to stern a smelly mess

They scream and laugh and cry with glee
At my attempts to steer them clear
As soon they can my figure see
They fire at me from the rear

I try to plead, I try to scare
I threaten all that they hold dear
Still they persist, no worse for wear
To ever weep their rectal tears

But evil measures I devise
Within an outhouse dank and gloom
When nothing else would seem suffice
I did my business in a spoon

The boldest bird to ever hatch
I'll catch him when he sits alone
His secret weapon now outmatched
Because this time, I'll bring my own