Searching Poem by Scarlet .....

I’m so unsure
unsure of myself
did he enjoy talking to me
as much as I enjoyed talking to him?
or did I screw it up?
I’m working so hard
not to be shy
to be open
to be more confident
to not be so nervous
I just hope I can learn all these things soon
soon so he won't move on
move on with out me
leaving me alone
alone again
I know he says he will wait
but how long will it take me
I’m trying so hard
but I still feel the same
I can open up online
but still not aloud
I am making progress
but will it be enough?
Or will I screw this up?
I was past all this worrying
what happened?
God I must move on
move past this doubt
I want to set my full self free
but I feel like I’ve lost the key
the key to the real me
I’m searching for that key
but will find it?
Or will I search forever?
I will keep searching
I will search far and wide to find this key
the key to the real me
I will find it if it’s the last thing I do