Self Crimination Poem by Eman Awad

One day i thought that i have it in me,
the strength to make some one happy and in love.
I told my self that i can be a memory,
in some one's heart forever but it was so tough.
On my way of trial and error, i hurt him,
i'm not happy to give happiness to any one.
And his eyes, i couldn't look in them,
just before he knows it, i was so gone.
I can't figure out my heart,
and i'm not aware of my destination.
All came to me after i tore him apart,
i became sadness in his imagination.
Suddenly i had the strength to forgive,
who once had my heart and eventually broke it.
But unlike me, he was so able to live,
taking all his words back just as he spoke it.
I'm guilty and i'm making my confession,
but you can't do any thing about it though.
It's a self crimination out of depression,
his smile's haunting me, it won't let me go.
And i laugh, have i done the same to you,
do you feel so guilty of what you've done to me?
The fatal sin of being so untrue,
the soarness of being some one's dream and reverie.
But unlike you i was out of the door,
just when i knew that i'm empty enough.
I won't torture him by staying more,
though he wants it, but there's mercy in love.
After years and years in life, i know,
we're no angels but we choose to be the otherwise.
I'm not a devil to kill love before it grow,
maybe i'm just sane enough to determine the lies.
And i won't say i'm not with guilt,
but who isn't, my guilt is yet small.
It's good if you knew how i felt,
how i was sure i had it and lost it all..