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Selling Herself On Ebay - Poem by VICTORIA GEORGE

There was an old slag from Killay
Wanted to sell herself on eBay
She couldn’t be bold (or so she was told)
So she had to be clever and say:

A “chest” of “drawers”
And two big jugs
Are what I have for sale
A box for tits and lots of bits
Are yours if you are male.

French lessons and a lovely shag
Pile carpet can be yours
You could snag a designer bag
If you walk through my doors

I’m a seller with a top notch crutch
Some bedding with cheap frills
So come along, it won’t cost much
Just a fiver to pay me bills.

She got a sale from a randy male
He paid by bankers draft
He didn’t wish to use Paypal
(They’d given him the shaft)

He couldn’t wait to see his date
He turned up right on pact
What he saw made him explore
the Trade Descriptions Act

When he got back he got the phone
And called up in a rage
I’d been told that she was young and bold
But she’d knocked decades off her age'

“I didn’t expect a gal from the Ritz
And I did expect some some sleaze
I didn’t expect so see slack t*ts
And a belly on her knees

“Her veins were like a roadway map
Her cellulite was gross
Her big fat bum weighed half a ton
And her teeth were in a glass”

He called his bank on the attack
but they told him 'Please get lost'
He couldn’t get his money back
So he just had to write it off

copyright Victoria George

Comments about Selling Herself On Ebay by VICTORIA GEORGE

  • (6/21/2008 2:04:00 PM)

    That was very funny and well worth the time. It was structured correctly for the read and that was easy. Though I did see the 'some' word twice done. Perhaps,
    it needed extra cooking. Woonderful!

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Poem Submitted: Saturday, June 21, 2008

Poem Edited: Wednesday, July 23, 2008

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