To Nothingness,
To Fears,
To the Steadfast emptiness,
To those who killed my dreams,
I pray for your love,
Yet i love not myself,
with a smile, I'm stripped of all but worries
Leaving me to drown in an ocean watered with tears of sorrow,
....regrets
....and Sin
You Flee, and I follow
you decieve and i believe
Do I awake?
Do i dream?
Let me be,
Leave me to see what
'They' call Happiness
Hello Amar. There are some very good aspects to this poem but - you did ask - improvements can be made, or at least the poem can be helped along. I think you should spend time putting your poems to one side for a week, and then look again with the eye of a critic. I believe you have talent, but it is not helped in the detail. Is the title mis-spelt? Scentless... lack of smell... should it be Senseless? Why small case i in line 6 and 14? Why lower case w to start line 7, and again in line 12? Are this typos? If so then it does not help the reader's eye. If we who dare to call ourselves writers but do not follow the rules we damage ourselves.
GREAT CREATIVITY.ALL THE BEST IN THE FUTURE.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
I see what you want to mean! And also I am sure that this is because of your secret power!