She... Poem by Heather Milks

It's comming
It's trying to break out.
I hold it
My beast within.
I fight it back
and beat it down.
Reflections come on,
the memories strong.
It's in my chest,
my lungs, my heart.
It beats through me,
it beats in me.
Deep Wild,
thats what I call her
She's always around
but sometimes
she gets closer.
She sits in a car at 3 am
because she has no place to be
but everywhere to go.
She is nostalgia.
There is nowhere to run.
It'll just come along with me.
Sometimes she will carry me.
Demented tormented.
The heaviness within each breath.
Will it subside if I.....
Just scream
Should I, just scream?
Am I doing it right?
Should it be pushed away?
Am I me fighting it or
is it me being battled?
It'll pass, it'll pass, it'll pass...
bite your lip till it bleeds,
close your eyes
till you can't see anything
but the shapes of the darkness.
It's just a flutter,
a studder, a shudder.
Hold your breath........
Now, do it all over..............