She Shall Never Realize It Poem by Mastermind Poet

I have a million words for you,
But they don't seem meaningful,
That is why they don't seem to come out
But I may never get the chance,
To say them,
So I force my mouth to speak them out loud.

You asked me a thousand times,
If ever I had something to say
Often times I said nothing,
The few times I actually said something,
It was not what I actually had in mind
It is actually now that I came to realize,
That I was living in fear,
Fear that I would lose you,
Fear that I would get broken again,
My love for you,
Grew deeper daily,
But so did my fear.

Sometimes I wished I would tell you,
How much you meant to me,
How much I actually loved you,
What exactly was going on in my heart,
What your smile did to me,
What it meant holding your hand,
How good I felt when you wrapped your arms around me,
How those tiny fingers made me happy,
How your large eyes made me feel special,
Every time you looked at me,
With that blank face,
I felt like I owned the world,
You made life worth living,

Sometimes I wished to tell you,
That I am not me,
Without you,
I only realize it now,
You are my life.
So all those kisses,
All those messes,
That we made,
As we played,
I choose to forget,
All ‘coz you chose,
To ignore…
I really loved you,
Though you shall never realize it.