Silent Snow Poem by Kevin Carney

Do you think I am too complicated?
Am I starting to act like a fool?
Its not that I am trying to be.
It seems that it’s beyond my control.

Silent snow fall,
the white of my emotion.
Fall so gently away,
building along the silence of the day.
So gently I tread,
trying so hard to not fall….
It’s so slippery to take that step,
so afraid to fall.

It’s such a strange act to follow.
Such a struggle it’s been,
a balance of love and depression.
So complicated,
my emotion raw and ever so twisted.
I’d gladly sacrifice all I can give,
to be with you.

Its not that I’m afraid,
it’s only the fear itself of losing you.
Friends we’ve always been,
something has taken over me.
So much stronger,
my breathing so soft and shallow.
I don’t know what to do,
I don’t know where to go.

I am walking towards.
the end of my emotional abyss.
My mind, so jumbled,
seeing your image in the back of my eyes.
In the dark of the night,
I lie in my bed… I can’t get you out of my head.
I have to do something,
I am starting to feel dead.

It’s more than a feeling,
it’s not quite an obsession.
The lyrics I write,
they fall all silent in the quiet light.
You won’t look at them,
you wouldn’t believe them….
It’s the only way this can be told.

If only you would read them,
you might understand.
If only I could speak them,
my heart won’t explode.
Every time I take a deep breath,
I think ready to speak.
My lips hold still,
the sounds of my words become still in silence.

The summer went… I almost was there…
The fall passed,
the leaves falling so gently,
still I couldn’t gain myself.
The winter came,
you, were lost for awhile,
so cold and lonely it became.
The spring is here,
rejuvenated by the bright light,
I am trying so hard to find a way…

So much I have tried but,
can never find the way.
Such a sickness it is in me,
knowing it’s almost hopeless.
So much a man I am of so few spoken words…
My time I fear is running out,
so betrayed my own fears and imperfection.

If this was a perfect world… you would see.
The words I write can only speak my truth.
You would feel the love I hold,
it’s ready to explode.
If only you would look at these words I have written,
you’d understand.

I realize it’s hopeless,
I am not going to change.
Such a shortcoming I have,
so much fear of loosing it all.
The words I need to speak,
will never come out,
such a jumble mess it is.
It’s time to take my frailties and just fade away,
in the failing light.