John Carter Brown

Slow Toast - Poem by John Carter Brown

We have the slowest toaster
in the northern hemisphere,
it takes an age to do the job,
the reason is unclear;
It didn't cost a fortune
of that I will admit,
but in the speed department
it's just so inadequate.

I've wondered, are there blockages
that stop the power flowing
into the heating elements
that simply won't get going?
because when the finished product
pops up from out the slot,
it's yellowish, and lukewarm,
and tasty it looks not.

So, what to do to remedy
this failure in slow motion
that is the bane of all my life,
and seemingly, my portion?
This toaster that, in competition,
would surely win no votes
will no more make my breakfasts,
from now on it's porridge oats.

(Written Sept 2015)

Topic(s) of this poem: humour

Form: Light Verse

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Poem Submitted: Tuesday, January 12, 2016

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