So Reader Poem by Kaspa Richards

So Reader



So reader, I recently i killed my black dog
It was my companion for many years
My drugs just made it back off
but i could still hear it barking jeers

The more drugs i took
the louder the bark
So the more hugs i mistook
for false love in the dark

But I'm smart and eventually got help
Mr Prescription gave me pills one of my legal deals
And i could hear the poisoned dog yelp
But i have suspicions so i still feel rather ill

You see reader I've fought this battle alone
It was my choice no one else
Isolated myself from my friends n there homes
And placed my heart on the highest shelf

So my heart was out of my minds mindless war
I was broken, depressed, my life was a mess
So when i met this girl and the beauty that she wore
After she got dressed, i confess, my love was suppressed

'So i had to let her go' became the story n film stills of my life
Led a lonely few years fighting the dog in isolation
Wanted to end it all at one point reached for pills not a knife
But i couldn't do it, curse this procrastination

I soon killed the dog after two separate interventions
A fling brought my head out the war and my heart off the shelf
I wasn't a lonely warrior but that moment was a cause of celebration
Though her feelings were fake for once we was close and i wernt by myself

She got pregnant by her boyfriend i admit it knocked me back
But with Mr prescriptions pills i got over her still
And i stopped the dogs reincarnation into blacker of blacks
So now i get stressed over bills normal stuff I'm chilled

Then i was followed by this monkey on my back and its baby anxiety
The drugs are out of my system like intelligence out of Christians
But I'm a proven warrior and my strength is enlighting me
To use it to my advantage turning monkeys into minions to stop them biting me

So what I'm saying reader is i guess I'm feeling lonely
I walked off the battlefield victourious with no love of my own
Few friends, my view of life is distorted so everyone seems phony
I've thrown lovers to the way side dust i just don't wanna be alone

I'm sick of my inner fighting and swiping at people in my life
I'm sick of being alone lashing out coz of the deep hole and strife
I'm sick of being the strong one the smart one the witty one the lie
I'm sick of seeing everyone move forward with kids and brides
Having a motto forced upon me 'yea you know me I'm always alright'

I don't wanna sit there with an empty throne by my side
I don't wanna grow old with lonely tears in my eye
I dint wanna lie in an empty bed thinking of those i let slip by
I dint wanna be isolated or hide behind my quick wit lines

I want a relationship a proper and serious adult but fun one
I want the cuddles the kisses the closeness and feel the love come
I want the fights the rows the interactions the excitement and hum drum
I want the ups the downs the smiles and frowns i wanna be someones special someone

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