Social Anxiety Poem by Scott Sims

Communicating should be a very straightforward and simple thing to do but for me it isn't easy
Social Anxiety is the fear of speaking to other people
It's how you want to talk but you can't
because you think what you are about to say is stupid
so even when you have something to say; you don't
Social Anxiety is a boy
born with the ability to talk
But birthmarked by the belief
that he's capable of only sorries and apologies
He does not talk with his hands
But trembles along with them
His brain can form a sentence
And his lungs can push up a voice
But all he coughs up is a noise
so he raises his voice only to echo the silence
The other boys and girls listen in
They play doctor
examining
inspecting
diagnosing her as weird
As if he's not already aware of his own condition
they instruct her to be normal
but their prescription offers him no comfort
just makes him more conscious of his own insecurities
more ashamed of what he has become.
So now at social gatherings he quarantines himself off
handicaps himself to silence in an attempt to cleanse his body of this fear
Though paralyzed from the mouth up he still feels the thought mutating inside his head

He turns to self treatment swallowing down friendships like medication
But it offers him no remedy
Because social anxiety is not a sickness
It's a crippled self confidence that tries to stand up but stumbles on syllables and consonants
trips on every social norm ends up bed ridden
It is ideas that are suppressed, creativity stomached out of disgust
A body fatigued by frustration because her mouth is an open wound
that gushes out awkward
it stains conversations
and taints chit chats

He washes it off with laughter
stitches it up with a smile
But inside he's still bleeding
Some day he will see beauty in the bruises tattooing his skin
One day, they will ask him
How he is doing


And he will not repeat but he will proclaim unmemorized, unpracticed, unrehearsed
That he feels
Good