Solidarity Poem by kel davis

the television watches me like im it's mindless prisoner.
my remote has become moist from holding it far too long;
my computer beckons me just as my television did.
minutes turn into hours, and what started as casual browsing,
has turned into obsessive numbness.
my life is perpetual laziness fueled by compulsive stalking-
my prey: fictitious characters on TV and bygone friends of old.
i pace back and forth, wondering how i got to where i am.
where are the kisses from the girlfriend
ive never had? where is the silken
black hair my fingers are meant to comb through?
back and forth, i pace, begging
all that is good to grant my heart solidarity.
anxiety washes over me from the endless pacing;
so there, sitting on my threadbare couch,
i search through my phone to find someone,
to find a reason to spark up a conversation.
i dont have many contacts, hardly any at all really-
mostly work friends and relatives.
if i reached someone, id have nothing to say to them,
and if by chance i did, i wouldnt call and actually speak.
i would just text them, bear my emotions with emoticons
im so lonely i cant even muster up the enthusiasm
to actually speak to someone i am supposedly am friends with
again, anxiety washes over me from this sickening realization
of having no friends, no life, and no purpose
the only thing i know for certain that i have is loneliness
i dont ever cry, i never do, never have
i wish so badly i could just bury my head into a pillow
and violently bawl my eyes out until my eyes ran dry
my best friend - my only friend - is myself,
and despise everything about him

i need a dog