It was the night before Christmas – Old Santa was p*ssed
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks
I have good mind to scrap the whole works
I’ve busted my butt for damn near a year
Instead of Thanks Santa – what do I hear?
The old lady nags because I work late at night
The elves want more money – The reindeer all fight
Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those buttheads from the IRS sent me a letter
They say I owe taxes – if that aint damn funny
Who the hell ever sends Santa Clause something let alone Money?
And the kids these days – they all are the pits
They want the impossible …Those mean little *****
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls…Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yoyos – and lots of toy lizards
They want computers and robots…they think I’m a wizard
If you think that’s bad…just picture this
Try holding those brats…with their pants full of p! ss
They pull on my nose – they grab at my beard
And if I don’t smile..the parents think I’m weird
Flying through the air…dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I’m quitting this job…there’s just no enjoyment
I’ll sit on my *ss and draw unemployment
There’s no Christmas this year… now you know the reason
I found me a blonde… I’m going SOUTH for the season! !
And it certainly did make me smile, just when I absolutely needed it most. Hilarious poem Greg.
Hey, I'm in my regular christmas mood now after reading this jewel: Bahhhh Humbug. But seriously, gave me a giant smile. I always secretly thought Santa was incompetent, as he always screwed my gift up! The year I wanted a telescope; took it three years to finally arrive, and by then I had changed to wanting a boy.(sigh)
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
nice narrative poem, lovely rhymes...............10++++