Staffing Crisis Poem by Mary Champion

They won't permit women to be priests, too few men have any desire to be priests, and those that do are disproportionately inclined towards paedophilia, consequently the Catholic Church faces a staffing crisis of existential proportions.

The Irish branch has therefore resorted to desperate measures and decided to use social media - that hotbed of conspiracy theorists and assorted weirdos to recruit its ‘Holy Fathers'

As a devoutly protestant atheist, I find this very heartening news because it stands to reason that if they run out of priests the Catholic Church will have to shut up shop.

Those denominations that have allowed the ordination of women, have extended their shelf life a little longer, although why women want anything to do with something as misogynist as the majority of religion is quite beyond me. But I have more faith in the common sense of women than I do in the Almighty, so live in hope that they will eventually realise that they are being misled up the garden path and resign en-masse.

Sadly, there is one possibility that may thwart my dreams of a world without denominations -

Chatbots!

How long will it be, before the few remaining devotees realise that this is one job that can be done very effectively by AI? Such devices are ideal for a profession which is required to trot out the same old answers whatever questions are asked. No truly original thought or creativity is required for all their teachings are set in stone and rarely required to move with the times.

Artificial Indoctrination might prove to be their salvation.