nikki hays

Rookie (30th October 1971 / croydon, victoria, Australia)

Stainless Steel Saviour - Poem by nikki hays

lines, patterns, symbols, life
Bitterness and pain
trouble and strife
wounds from the past
that just cannot heal
stories remembered
horror i feel
cut like a knife
deep to the chest
without you my love
my mind cannot rest
goodbye now forever
twisted and torn
lost are my dreams love
battered and torn
i lay in the shadows
the darkened doorway
as this cold stainless steel saviour
takes the pain all away

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Comments about Stainless Steel Saviour by nikki hays

  • (8/21/2005 8:24:00 AM)

    Thats' loneliness when your heart's been broken, or your sweetheart is on a tour. Nice poem, bit scattered but nice effort

    Use a bit long line to define emotion

    Don't try to be short and seems to be in hurry

    express your heart out long lines.

    Use different paragraphs that geling with easch other.

    Nikki nice poem juss shave off some glitches and it will really turn out to be artpiece

    Bye bye

    lokking for ur next one

    Naveen Kumar
    http: //
    (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Sunday, August 21, 2005

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