Staying Strong Poem by James Darwin Smith II

Pain

Felt so much pain
Not mine
Use to ask myself why
As the years failed me
Passing right by

Draining spirit
All there was, sleep
Keeping me away
From everything
Wasting each day
Trying to work miracles

Silence, when I was fading
Nothing on the other end
Felt so ugly, felt so betrayed

To those who cared
I acted and acted away
Everything was so great
I was laughing
To hide away the pain

Love


I was once loved
By a woman who felt this pain
Felt bad for the things she never did
Yet, ended up doing
Leaving me faithless
Without nothing to believe in
An empty shell of existence
Trying to stay relevant
In any sort of way
With years of fighting
Against this darkness within

Darkness

The darkness
It seemed to keep me sane
Yet, it is hard to tell
When living in a place
Too low for love to even dwell
As my reality was really
Descending into disdain

Disdain

Look at me
No, I hate the mirror
For I am the monster love fears
I cannot look at this face
For it has nothing to offer
At this time and place
Such a waste of space


Space

Walking away
Into my own
Time and space
Recollecting myself
For better days ahead
Exploring this mind
In so many different ways
Traveling onward
In more ways than one
Striving to reach
Places I have yet
To been to
Endless journeys
Unlimited in exploration galore


Exploration

Can never be stuck again
There are way too many places to go
Within myself way out of myself
Beyond this comfort zone
In the quest for love itself


Love

Back to love
Because it all starts from here
From self to others
From the deepest regions of this soul
To this heart that yearns to beat
To the sound of love
Always, forever to beyond




Beyond

I truly believe
There is a great beyond
Many say it is where
The angels fly
A place where we go
When we die
I just know there is love
When I am ready
To enter that beautiful place





Pain, it was needed
To make me strong


Love, it was to experience
Many of this hearts lessons taught

Darkness, for my demons
To be written away

Disdain, for these gut feelings
To grow stronger

Space, so I can travel
Learning in ever sort of way

Exploration, so I can find something
Better than I have ever found before

Love, so I can go back brand new
Finding something that I have always searched for

Beyond, well that is my spiritual form
And nothing will ever take that away from me


Does this all make sense?
I suppose it is only for me to know
As pain, Love and darkness
Disdain, Space and exploration
Are the loves that makes me
See beyond everything
For one, for all




Fighting this pain
Loving every moment
Creating darkness
Against disdain
Only to give myself space
To explore like never before
So I can love myself and others
Beyond everything that I have ever loved before


From the past, to the present and the future
This me and all my feelings as one
Loving myself and everyone

Love is doubled
The rest are singled
Shaping this journey
Like it has never shaped it before


And then
There will be
Even more moments to find
As I search within myself
Into a better understanding
Of everything, of everyone

There will be peace
When all is said and done


And there is always is, Love

Actually, Now I think of it
As being beyond five folds


Staying Strong