Still Ill? Poem by hira andrew

i'm ill,
the notification pings,
dopamine reacts before i do,
another roused message recieved,
the soul awake now,
i'm no longer ill.
it awakens a while later,
along with the portal to cloud nine,
the soul is disappointed,
for it hadn't gotten its longing,
i'm ill.
this is the cycle,
of the awakening of the soul,
for when the celestial bridge awakens,
so does the soul,
with said celestials' message lingering,
my soul does too,
i decide to wait a couple minutes,
i'm ill.
i open the message,
the soul dries and withers away,
something drier than the sahara desert,
had come my way,
i'm ill.
it pings again,
dopamine reacts,
not ecstatic anymore; rather tired,
of this cycle that doesn't plan on ending,
for the soul won't let it,
for it will stop with it.
i'm ill.
it's been manipulated; the soul,
to react the way celestial muse does,
the soul is wrecked and tired,
but then the bridge summons the soul yet again,
celestial; my muse, awakens the soul,
to a lingering of ecstasy,
am i still ill?