With my head in my hands,
Ready to do something I regret,
Ready to do something completely pointless.
I look up suddenly and realize.
*What am I doing? Have I lost my mind? *
Here I am, fourteen years old,
And Im already screwing up my life.
I have so much stuff going on right now,
And its just unbearable to think about it.
But I have got to realize,
There is more to life then the pointless things
That I keep going back too.
And I am listening to this song...
And one of the lines stick out to me...
Talking about this world isnt right,
This world isnt like we expected.
And how things come and go unexpectadly...
And at the end it just screams
'So Lets live like we're alive! ! '
I know exactly what I need.
I need to turn this music of mine
Up as loud as it will go,
And I need to throw my head back
And laugh as loud as I can.
I just need to dance and forget about
Everything that is going on right now.
I need to spend the night with some friends
And mess around and have the time of my life.
I need to smile like I mean it,
And I need to realize that I can handle this.
I need to finally agree to a dare
That my best friends made for me.
I need to agree to take him
By the arm and run into the street
And scream and dance with him until
We can barely stand.
Every ounce of joy I have
I need to show to the world
'IM NOT WHAT YOU EXPECTED! ! '
I need alone time in my room
To just go ahead and lie down,
Cry all the tears I need to cry,
Get over all my problems,
And realize that Im alot stronger
Than I ever expected.
Then I need to cry myself to sleep
For the very last time,
Then wake up and do it all over again.
Written Febuary 4th,2007