Two Lips

Rookie (June 12,1980 -.)

Submissive Questions. - Poem by Two Lips

I really love you love
I swear I do
Why don't you believe me?
Can't you see it's true?

Do you not remember
how you made me wet?
How you kissed my mouth,
how you made me sweat?

Do you not remember
how i wanted to stay?
How I wanted to keep you
and steal you away?

Do you not remember
how I looked over your bullshit
and you being vain?

Do you not remember
how you made the butterflies in
my stomach wrench in pain?

I love you love, I swear I do
come be next to me
and lie me something new.


Comments about Submissive Questions. by Two Lips

  • (1/23/2006 4:58:00 PM)


    I came across this by chance two lips, I love it's tone and flow, very appropriately expressed in your poem. 10 from Tai (Report) Reply

    0 person liked.
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  • (1/16/2006 1:59:00 AM)


    Don't change a thing. It's sweet, it resounds, it reads well, it comes from the heart to the page. It's all of us of either sex, isn't it.... thank you for posting it up. (Report) Reply

  • (12/23/2005 7:10:00 AM)


    Aglaee:
    Please post a bio. People r curious.
    Martin
    (Report) Reply

  • (12/23/2005 6:46:00 AM)


    Highly charged and personal. The fourh stanza is 'clunky'. The rhythm is off and I would substitute 'bs' for something more meaningful and less blatant. Also, rewrite the stanza
    as a four-verse line to balance with the others.
    Martin
    (Report) Reply

  • (12/20/2005 9:58:00 PM)


    A very personal and well-crafted poem. Has there been a dominant response?

    Good writing.9 from me, smiling.

    HDC
    (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Poem Edited: Tuesday, December 20, 2005


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