So long ago are the days of
Undying happiness and joy,
Infiltrated by good times and
Cheery smiles from a little boy.
Independant of pain, not knowing
Death and sorrow,
Everything always okay, always hope for tomorrow.
Introduced to misery, and downward things turned,
Sorrow crept in and around my body churned.
Mornings became desperate and sad,
Yesterdays never good, only bad
Attacks of sorrow, misery and pain,
Never any happiness, always the same,
Seperating from others, hiding away,
Weary of social contact, hiding everyday,
Escaping reality, whatever way I can,
Retreating from life, like a cowardly man.
Slowly becoming better, then quickly getting worse,
Opening a tunnel inwards, a heart targetting curse.
Life being unsatisfying, never any joy,
Entering what I didn't know, when I was a little boy,
Treated by everyone as if I were a useless toy.
Meeting girls with whom I fall in love, clutching at them like straws,
Ending our relationship, my happiness sliced by her vicious claws.
Killing any hope, this illness of mine,
Infecting my mind, like poisonous wine.
Leaving me dead inside, sealing my fate,
Looking for help, my seeking it too late.
My body now covered in cuts, both new and old,
Yesterday's dreams of death, many a friend I've told.
Sleeping through the pain, I dream of my death,
Everyone showing no care, suicide I won't regret.
Leaping into darkness, no turning back,
Falling deeper and deeper...everything goes black...
Suicide is my answer so let me kill myself and now,
Pills, a blade, a noose, drowning... I don't care how...
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.