Em Jay Christian

Rookie (June 10,1990 / Athens, Ohio)

Taking Me Down - Poem by Em Jay Christian

I used to sit,
And stare,
Enveloped in darkness,
In upset,
And anger,
And dispair.
You lost me.
I was following you,
Down,
The only direction,
That you knew.
That is where you took me,
Down,
And you thought you left me there.
It was true,
In a sense,
I lived there,
For a fair amount of time.
It was a damp,
And lonely darkness,
But at least it was mine.
It was the only thing,
You ever gave me.
And yes,
Afterwards, I was afraid.
Are you happy now?
You win,
I have a weakness,
I'm not this,
All knowing,
Perfect,
Being you wanted me to be.
And I was terrified,
That I may,
Never find another,
Love,
That made me feel quite the same way,
As you did, before.
But then,
I realized,
It was not you,
Who brought those feelings,
It was me,
Being pristine,
And moldable,
Being everything,
You wanted me to be.
Which, of course,
Included happy.
Happier than I had ever been,
I was always a people-pleaser.
But this time,
I people-pleased myself away,
Giving into you,
Piece by piece.
Until there was nothing left,
And I had to make,
Myself be happy.
Well let me tell you,
This,
Is the happiest I have ever been,
And for once,
It has nothing to do with me.
I'm not trying to please this time,
I'm letting,
Myself be pleased.
And for once,
I don't need your approval,
To be anything,
I want to be.
So just for the record,
You pathetic little boy,
Yes, I'm better this time around,
And I hope you enjoy,
The rest of your life,
In the darkness.
Because you have no more of my light,
I am done,
Let's see how little you care now.


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Poem Submitted: Monday, April 26, 2010



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