Temporary Contentment Poem by Kristina Louisa Carr

For a long time now I have felt the void in my heart
My happiness is split into pieces as from a pie chart
One section alone never gets enough honest attention
Satisfaction comes in small doses hardly worth to mention
I smile but it never leaves the surface and only touches skin
It feels as swimming with a strong current knowing to win

I long to feel more like touching thunder and lightening
But I am unengaged and nothing that emerges is exciting
Everything is easy and I am floating downstream very tamed
Without giving in to passion my life appears to be maimed
Whenever I look in the mirror I still recognize what is hiding
But I am uninspired and remain silent giving in and abiding

From my front window I see the world walk on by every day
But I stand muted and confined in my plastic bubble I stay
Is contentment really only a state of the mind and resting
Something that slyly bypasses my soul without protesting
Or is it something that is achieved with practice and loss
That crept into my routine like a rescue by the Red Cross

In steralyzed packages I learned to confine my emotions
Protecting them from life applying layers of numbing lotions
I no longer wail in sorrow due to disapointments and pain
Because everything is alright and I have no reason to complain
Hurtful words ricochet of my pride and all wounds have healed
For now my slumbering memories are temporarily concealed